Alzheimer's and has not been "Nana" for some time. She hasn't recognised me in years and more recently she had completely withdrawn and become unable to communicate in any way. So in essence you grieve twice and the grieving is done slowly over years. I felt a bit of guilt as I'd not been to visit as much as I "should", I also felt very nostalgic looking through the piles of photos for the power point presentation I made for the funeral. It's a time when you are confronted with your own mortality- Nana would have been 100 in November and up until recently she had lived a full life- but death is inevitable. I helped Mum plan the funeral and there are so many choices to make, I ended up telling my kids two songs I'd like for my funeral and told them to pick the cheapest coffin available- I'd prefer a cardboard box, Such a waste of money really. Even simple funerals cost a fortune! I'm glad that I've got life insurance to cover these costs for the kids when that happens...This post is tad morbid really, but that's where I've been of late. I've also been actually doing some organising and not thinking or talking about organising. As a result I've been a bit absent in the blog sphere of late...but I find I'm not the only one. And then when I get time to spend online I'm distracted by that ever so addictive pinterest!