Sunday, 20 September 2009

Chicken and egg.

I used to be able to fit time for my own art work into my life but lately I just haven't got the head space for it. I would have thought that having the kids get older was easier, but right at this minute they seem to require more attention-not in the same way as when they were babies but pretty much the same intensity. I have reflected that late teen children seem to be like 3 year olds again in terms of parenting because they are moving from child/teen to adult and they feel ready to do all sorts of things yet they are not fully independent yet so they rely on you for your help but they reject it at the same time. Rather like when they wanted to dress themselves at three but could not quite manage the buttons.
I have decided not to do the George St Market this year as I am going to focus on getting Bantam Boy through his TEE. It looks like he won't get to keep his extra reading time (for his mild processing disorder) so I need to make sure the home is as stress free as possible. (In human biol. they took their blood pressure everyone else was normal and his was 150 over 80, the doctor thinks it is stress related, i worry because my father had outrageously high blood pressure- he had an over active adrenal gland and this made him stress more or feel stress more rather, so I worry about my boy.) I have applied for leave during this time and it has been approved. So I am going to dedicate myself to being a full time at home mum for the two and a bit weeks of his exams.
So I am tired and out of sorts and have not ideas of what to make/paint/do and don't have the energy to do it anyway. But I know it revives me so it is kind of chicken and egg stuff, I don't know if I'm blocked because I am tired or if I'm tired because I'm not doing any art work! May be it's a bit of both.

2 comments:

Luhlahh said...

Oh, I know that longing! I really don't know how you doo the work AND motherhood thing. I'm flat out just looking after myself! Take care! L X

Sarah said...

I hope you both pull through and get your 'groove' back. I'm trying not to freak out about TEE myself, but it seems like everyone else is, and you know the old saying...

"If you can keep your head while all those around you are losing theirs...
...it's quite possible that you haven't grasped the severity of the situation."

But I'm sure Bantam Boy will find a way to get where he wants to go, no matter what. Good luck to you both!
xox Sarah