six cubic metres of letting go and the chair that made me weep.

.

This is the chair that made me weep. I began last Thursday when a friend of mine finally called me back and we agreed to meet on the weekend for coffee and a catch up after more than a year. This sent me into an instant state of dread. Oh my god my car port is a mess what if she drives down the driveway and sees all the stuff there the not so secret shame of my inner turmoil made visible. I had my computer open and I googled big skip bins and ordered one for the next day. So early Saturday morning I got everyone in the house out of bed and we attacked the car port, the patio and the front verandah. Gathering up broken bits of furniture, great finds (courtesy of Tim) that turned out to be not so great- one day he bought home a windshield he found on the side of the road!!!! (No it didn't fit anyones car. No I don't know why.) Oh there was also the bin full of rubbish- Tim forgot to put the bin out for our collection day. We were motoring along when I came to this pink chair. It had belonged to my great grandmother. I was given it when I moved into my first home when I was pregnant with Bantam Boy. It sat in the nursery that I had spent hours sewing curtains and cot sheets and making mobiles. I can see it sitting beside the window. I fed my first little baby in that chair by the window. It followed me to Kalgoorlie where I rocked Bantam Boy to sleep while I was pregnant with Chicky Babe. It was one of a couple of things I fought for when I left and took nothing with me but the kids and a few bags of clothing and was not allowed to take when the stuff was shipped back. It was one of three bits of furniture that I had in my first home I had with my children when I first became the 'little red hen' doing it on my own. 

But the poor old chair has seen some hard times. When Bantam Boy was only about 4 Nana (my Nana) came to visit and he threw himself at he in a vigorous show of affection. A cuddle that was more like some kind of rugby tackle! Luckily this old chair broke her fall but in the process of saving her from any serious injury the chair's leg was broken, it was patched and mended but not properly and a few years ago it collapsed well rather took on a very serious lean, I put it out on the front verandah, moved it to the patio thought about throwing it away or the possibility of mending it properly and wondered if it would be too expensive for an old chair that is not particularly special.

So when I got to this chair in the big clear out this weekend, I faltered, I rang my mum.

"Just chuck it!" she said.

Ok I thought I can throw it away but when I went to pick it up to take it out the front to the bin the tears came. Bantam Boy and Tim were a little perplexed. I tried to explain through my tears why I couldn't do it. They both laughed at me lovingly and gave me big hugs. BB has been proud of my attempts to let go of some of the things that I have been hanging on to and is supportive of my efforts to get things sorted. He finds it particularly interesting as he is doing psychology, I'm a great case study full of interesting quirks for him to observe and try to understand.

We have kept the chair and I'm going to find out how much it will cost to have it repaired properly.

This ENORMOUS box of chocolates was a present from Tim because he didn't like to see me cry.

Luckily I have lots of people to help me polish them off!

 

And this little fellow was sitting in a pot plant at a garage sale where I bought a truck load of the most beautiful pot plants for $50.

My holiday plans are all falling into place and sometimes I am so excited that I can hardly breathe!

Red remembers the orangutan .

When I was about 17 Anki, my sister,Brigette and I went to there zoo to have a picnic and draw the animals. It was a bit of a drizzly day, Anki wore a bright yellow coat and I wore a beret and a crocheted cardigan.

(I loved that cardigan but I lost it on the bus on one of our outings.)
At one stage we stopped to draw the orangutans. The enclosure was quite new at the time and I sat on the ledge against the glass barrier. One of the orangutans came up to the glass and started to make eyes at me. He gently put his hand up to the glass where I had put mine and started to make what looked like kissing gestures with his lips. When the other girls sat down in front of the glass he got quite upset, banging on the glass, but when I sat down he began to rest against the glass again looking into my eyes and making the kissing gestures again.
My sister particularly thought it was very funny that the orangutan would fall in love from me, she thought it was because I looked orangutan like with my copper red hair. So she hatched a plan and the following valentines day I received a valentine -from the orangutan!!!! She put a photo of him in a card and typed a message (actually on an ye olde type writer) as if it were from him complete with spelling complaining that it was hard to type with big fingers.
PS. That year I got 3 Valentine cards in my locker. I never found out who the others were from but one had a picture of a gorilla on it and the other was a chimp!

The lovliest birthday present.

My dearest friend Anki wrote a post for me for my birthday. It made me cry and go all goose bumpy. The things she says about our friendship is so true and she writes so beautifully. I love her so very much and she constantly inspires me in the way she says I inspire her. We are lucky indeed to have this friendship. Thank you Anki and I'm looking forward to the next thirty years of our friendship but I think the red sports car may become a retro chic Kombi!!!
Here we are 30 years ago ( or almost- this was taken when we were in year 11 or 12 )

oops!!!

Just had to ring school security to alert them to the fact that I would be disarming the alarm at 10:30 to turn off the laminating machine I was sure I had left on.
It was on. Crisis averted!

Happy birthday to me.

Today is my birthday. It has been a good one.
My sister didn't call me at 6am.
We had cake for morning tea at school.
The kids were good and I didn't have duty or a staff meeting.
I got some presents and lots of birthday wishes and messages.
And I didn't have to cook dinner.
(I am feeling optimistic that 46 will be a good year!)

Sunday, Sunday.

Things I've made recently.

For my trip,

for my Chicky Babe for the dress up for the last Harry Potter film,

for my dear friend.

Something I'm working on. For my Queen sized bed.

Today.

Rooftop view of Fremantle from the top level of the car park. I love this view out to sea.

Ban Live Exports Rally Fremantle.

There were more dogs than people! (Not really but there were quite a lot of them. They are all so well behaved! Pablo gets too excited in mixed company.)

Brunch at a Fremantle cafe. Well technically it would have to be a late lunch but we hadn't been up all that long and it was an early rally 12 noon on a Sunday IS early!)

Elizabeth's Bookshop was offering free wrapping for purchases over $10. These books were for school but I'd fallen in love with the wrapping paper for kiddies with it's circus theme. One class at school are doing a circus act for their assembly and we are doing some circus inspired art works and I thought I could use this in the art room so I had them wrapped. The top one is from Tim an early birthday present. It is a French/English dictionary for our travels.

Dreams are becomming plans.

I have finally done the most simple piece of paper work that has enabled the money I've been saving through the kids scholarship fund to be released to me and the interest earned paid to the kids. I don't know why I found this so difficult to do before now. (All I can say is thank goodness for antidepressants!)
Tim finally does exist. There was a number of dramas in his attempts to get a passport. The first being that he didn't exist on the births register, his name was spelt wrongly and then they gave him a copy of someone else's birth certificate with a very similar name and birth date. Anyway his passport is on it's way.
I went through all my jewellery and ended up recycling about $1000 worth of silver! Tim had collected quite a bit too so now with cash behind us I have spent the day planning, really planning not just wistfully "pinning" pictures to my holiday board on pinterest.
I'm planning 6 weeks away (now that the kids have reassured me they will look after each other and I need not feel guilty for abandoning them for some time during their end of semester uni exams- Why is it I continue to feel like a bad mama when they are almost 18 and a half and almost 20!!?)
I've decided to fly into London then explore Paris, Barcelona, Venice via Marseilles, Florence, Rome, and then back to London via Milan on the train. Once back in London I would like to spend some time Kombi Camper Vanning around at a leisurely pace.
It sounds like a lot but several of the train trips connecting cities are overnight and will be in sleeper carriages and I decided we may as well check out a couple of places along the way! I used to live in Mt Magnet and thought nothing of doing a three hour drive to Geraldton to do a bit of shopping or to dip my feet into the ocean! and returning in the afternoon before the roos, emus and occasionally cows came out and made driving a little more exciting than one would like! So 2 and a half hours from Venice to Milan sounds like a much better proposition to me- even 13 hours from paris to Barcelona sounds more appealing! Especially when there are Gaudi's mosaic buildings and a Picasso museum to visit.

We will start our trip with two weeks in Paris. Then the mad dash about Contiki tour style but just the two of us on a train stopping exactly where and when we want to! Then two weeks in the UK crocheting in sea side villages and at loch sides in Scotland.
I've bought a new netbook computer to use at home -rather than renewing my school laptop rental as I thought I could take it with me when I travel. It is quite nice to use. I've used it all afternoon to do a bit of research and to post this too.
Although I think I might take a break now to do some more crochet for a cardigan I'm working on or my cotton bed spread. And just let the information I've found seep gently into my head, roll about a bit and see if I am happy with it all. (I wish I had more money, more time and less guilt to be able to do and see everything on my wish list!)