I cleaned my room! How satisfying to complete that task. I bought three cheep pantry cupboards to store all my fabric in which means it is no longer in bags on the floor or in my wardrobe , so now my clothes fit nicely where they belong. I also did a bit of a wardrobe cull and will drop it off to the good sammy's.
I went to a party last night. I almost didn't go. I wasn't sure that I'd know anyone beside the birthday girl. I know her partner a bit. She is 5 years younger than I and he is a good deal younger than her! I knew that in all likelihood that the people there would all be in their 20's! I'm in my 40's. I started to feel worried about being the oldest one there. I changed 4 times and even put on makeup, which I rarely wear nowadays, age rewind foundation! I was feeling fat, frumpy, forty and fragile! But I pushed myself to go.
When I got there I was in fact the oldest one there and the group turned out to be extremely clicky. There were not that many people there. I felt quite awkward for some time. I missed not smoking at that point as those times I felt ill at ease were times I used to smoke most. I didn't feel like the nicotine just the cigarette!
Finally I got an opportunity to start chatting to the birthday girl's brother and sister's partners. Bonding in our mutual lack of connection with anyone else at the party. As we chatted I mentioned my children. The fellow looked at me and asked "how old are you?"
"Um, 42 nearly 43."
"Really in a good way or bad?" He was surprised he thought I was younger - thank god! He was 35 and the brother's girlfriend was 22.
"I think I might be the oldest one here."
He looked around "... yep!"
A life milestone- being the oldest person at a party! After that he kept calling me mum! But it was said in such a lighthearted warm way that I could not take offense. When will I be the wisest at the party also and not be concerned with what others think about how I look on the outside because it didn't concern me about them. I was looking for warmth and friendliness, not visual attractiveness.