Boy have I made a very bad error in judgement!
Chicky babe went out into freo to watch a movie with her friends from drama. This group has expanded to include some friends of one of the girls. Their ages range from 15 up the almost 18. Any way Chicky Babe took along another friend from school, a girl who is like a part of our "family". This girl's dad is a bit restrictive in my opinion, and Chicky Babe thinks (as all teens do,) that I am a bit restrictive.
They were at a movie and then rang to say that they would be going to go and have pizza. I said that that would be ok as long as it was fine with the other parent. Then as Bantam Boy was stuck in Gossnells -a good hour and a bit and two bus transfers by public transport away on good friday with limited buses running Tim took my car to go and pick him up. I had intended to pick the girls up when he got back. Then they rang to say that James could drive them home.
Do you trust him?
Has he been drinking?
And is it OK with the B's folks?
I'm not really happy about it but I suppose it would be Ok and quite convenient as Tim has my car in Gosnells.... ( I have been listening too much to her tell me how evil I am for not letting her do stuff and being too careful and fussy- having grown up being fussed over and overly protected I have been determined not to over parent and allow them both a certain amount of freedom.)
All the while I forgot to listen to how CB was saying over and over "You can say NO but....."
Well apparently B's parents didn't know and the boy dropped them off with a screech and a whole lot of yelling and noise leaving great skid marks down the street.
B has been grounded for the rest of the year, Her father rang me up and proceeded to tell me what he would like to see happen with CB in a most condescending and bullying manner.
I have dealt with the situation here on my end and I will not be grounding CB for a year I replied- (I think that is a ridiculous amount of time and being SO authoritarian and extreme only sets up for more lies and deception ,that or running away from home!) I didn't say the part in brackets to him but I did say when he said that I needed to do something - I said again that I have dealt with the matter at my end and I actually thing that the rest of the year is an unreasonable amount of time. - Then he proceeds to tell me that I obviously don't care if my daughter ends up dead! -What a WALLY!!!!! I was so angry about that how dare he speak to me like that. It was B who was pressuring CB to ask me in the first place and it was she who did not ask her parents. I on the other hand was fairly informed (albeit not fully as I was under the impression that B's parents also agreed.)
Then his partner rang to talk to me about it, she did agree that he has a tendency to over react - and that he didn't feel I did a good job of parenting CB and was too lenient and this was a bad influence on B an that he was going tomorrow to the high school in Karratha where he works to enroll her there to get her away from CB's bad influence!- Then I did a bad thing and let her know what I thought of his authoritarian style and how I thought the outcome of that would go. And how outraged I was that he would say that I wanted my daughter dead! I personally don't care If I never have to talk to them ever again! But poor CB has had the punishment - well natural consequence of her actions in that B has been banned from having anything to do with her again until B moves out of home. She has lost their trust and suffers their bad opinion of her. I see no need to "punish" her further.
Oh and by the way she won't be getting lifts with this young man any time soon!!! And I feel so bad that I didn't listen to my gut and go and pick them up myself, thus saving them the pain of this commotion but then it wouldn't have been a life lesson....She is attempting to write to them to try to make amends..
It's hard to watch your kids go through these things... especially when you feel a little responsible, I should have known that there would be no way in a pink fit that B's parents would have agreed to it!