Showing posts with label motherhood and children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood and children. Show all posts
Thursday, 13 May 2010
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
And the fledgling edges his way out onto the branch, beyond the nest...
Bantam Boy is adamant that he is going to take a gap year and spend it travelling around Australia!
Chicky babe has "baggsed" his room- it is bigger than hers.
I want to know who will eat curry with me and wondering how I will cope!
Chicky babe has "baggsed" his room- it is bigger than hers.
I want to know who will eat curry with me and wondering how I will cope!
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Happy Mother's Day!
Last night I stayed up untill 2am cleaning and starting the cooking for today. (and looking for tim's combi keys!!!!)
I made a quince and coconut cake for brunch (click the link to find the recipe on my cooking blog)
I have never used quince before and was surprised at how long they needed to be cooked for, I poached them in sugar syrup for one and a half houres and they turn from a pale creamy yellow to a lovely rich pink colour. They have a high level of pectin in them which made the syrup go all jammy. Then the baking time in the oven made them caremelise a bit too.
I also made a quiche or asparagus and greek fetta tart. So simple but surprisingly delicious. Luckilly I did my usual over catering trick, Tart, bacon, organic sausages, fried onion and tomato, "mock snapper" as my granny used to call them or you may know them as hash browns or Potato Latkes ,a herb salad, champagne and juice, tea coffe and cake and cream. So there will be leftovers for tea tonight. which is good because I was up again at 9 and was cooking until 11 when Mum and Ron arrived for brunch. so now we can graze on left overs for the rest of the day and I won't be doing any more cooking!
I also got a new CD- Lamb Chop ,very listenable...
Now I intend to listen to my CD and play a bit on my computer for a little longer then have a bit of a nap. I feel increadibly tired today and don't even have the energy to crochet a single square for my rug! Maybe I will after a nap.
I have never used quince before and was surprised at how long they needed to be cooked for, I poached them in sugar syrup for one and a half houres and they turn from a pale creamy yellow to a lovely rich pink colour. They have a high level of pectin in them which made the syrup go all jammy. Then the baking time in the oven made them caremelise a bit too.
I also made a quiche or asparagus and greek fetta tart. So simple but surprisingly delicious. Luckilly I did my usual over catering trick, Tart, bacon, organic sausages, fried onion and tomato, "mock snapper" as my granny used to call them or you may know them as hash browns or Potato Latkes ,a herb salad, champagne and juice, tea coffe and cake and cream. So there will be leftovers for tea tonight. which is good because I was up again at 9 and was cooking until 11 when Mum and Ron arrived for brunch. so now we can graze on left overs for the rest of the day and I won't be doing any more cooking!
Bantam boy and Chicky babe gave me some lovely pink wine glasses and tumblers and some tulips as seen featured the photo of the table. I got to use my crochet edged tablecloth and new place mats.
I also got a new CD- Lamb Chop ,very listenable...
Now I intend to listen to my CD and play a bit on my computer for a little longer then have a bit of a nap. I feel increadibly tired today and don't even have the energy to crochet a single square for my rug! Maybe I will after a nap.
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
Woe is me...
Suddenly I am all on my own. Bantam Boy is off to a party at the beach and Chicky Babe text me on her way home from Perth this evening asking if she could go to a friends place for a sleep over. Tim had promised to come over earlyish this morning to help me do some stuff. As he has promised this several times and not come because he had slept in till mid afternoon, I was cross with him. He arrived at 5 saying he wasn't feeling well. So I sent him packing not wanting to get ill myself but also cross because I was cross at him when he wasn't feeling well and I'd just assumed that he'd done his usual sleep all day thing. This is an ever recurring theme... He says he'll come then sleeps in and is very very late. I feel cross and then feel guilty for feeling cross because he is not obliged to help. But I do think that it would have been polite to get a call to say he wasn't coming because I've been waiting around for the last two days expecting him to come and he hasn't and saturday was the same. Plus I don't think it is unreasonable that if you promise a friend no matter how simple or complex the relationship might be, it is just polite to turn up when you say you will or at least phone to let them know you are not coming.
Now I'm at home waiting until I have to go and pick up Bantam Boy from his party. I asked Chicky Babe what was I going to do all on my lonesome. She replied Knit away on your weird lady knitting stuff. Hmmmm.... I am making some more knitted stuff. I'm working on a capelet like this one. Well it is not as chunky because the wool I have is only 10 ply and mine will be purple and I'm not sure about the flower. Maybe red or perhaps green and definitely removable so maybe one of each. Oh! I've got some deep yellow with a hint of brown that might become a sunflower to go on it. Bring on more coffee dates with unruly teenage boys (Chicky Babe says -Keep dreaming Mum. She has been careful to text when she says she will and to furnish me with as much info as I need!)
On that front, the dust is beginning to settle. B told her dad that she had been the one pushing Chicky Babe to call me to see if they could get a lift with the boys and that CB panicked when confronted as she never has to deal with that kind of yelling at our place. So she is no longer banned from seeing CB and is not going to be transferred to a school in the country. However there are all sorts of rules that she has to follow, what they are I don't know. And the grounding has been reduced from a year to three months! The boy has very bravely offered to go and apologise in person the the father and has thus earned some brownie points.
Having got that off my chest I am going to pop in a chick flick DVD (we can rent them again now that bantam boy has fixed up his $150 late fees problem!!!) and do some more knitting and embrace my alone time which is actually quite nice when I think about it.
PS. I was watching them both as we walked from the coffee shop yesterday and had to wipe away a wayward tear. They have grown up and it has taken me by surprise in some ways. I watched them and as they walked I saw the shadows of my little chicks follow beside them. They are ours for such a short time. At the moment I am reminded of little birds in a nest that I watched outside my window a couple of years ago. At first you got little glimpses of the tiny little chicks popping out from under their mother then they grew and grew and wriggled and squirmed in the nest jostling the poor mother from side to side as if she were riding a stormy sea. Finally they hopped onto the branch and before I knew it they were gone.
I am being jostled about in my nest at present and I know in the blink of an eye they will fly away!
Now I'm at home waiting until I have to go and pick up Bantam Boy from his party. I asked Chicky Babe what was I going to do all on my lonesome. She replied Knit away on your weird lady knitting stuff. Hmmmm.... I am making some more knitted stuff. I'm working on a capelet like this one. Well it is not as chunky because the wool I have is only 10 ply and mine will be purple and I'm not sure about the flower. Maybe red or perhaps green and definitely removable so maybe one of each. Oh! I've got some deep yellow with a hint of brown that might become a sunflower to go on it. Bring on more coffee dates with unruly teenage boys (Chicky Babe says -Keep dreaming Mum. She has been careful to text when she says she will and to furnish me with as much info as I need!)
On that front, the dust is beginning to settle. B told her dad that she had been the one pushing Chicky Babe to call me to see if they could get a lift with the boys and that CB panicked when confronted as she never has to deal with that kind of yelling at our place. So she is no longer banned from seeing CB and is not going to be transferred to a school in the country. However there are all sorts of rules that she has to follow, what they are I don't know. And the grounding has been reduced from a year to three months! The boy has very bravely offered to go and apologise in person the the father and has thus earned some brownie points.
Having got that off my chest I am going to pop in a chick flick DVD (we can rent them again now that bantam boy has fixed up his $150 late fees problem!!!) and do some more knitting and embrace my alone time which is actually quite nice when I think about it.
PS. I was watching them both as we walked from the coffee shop yesterday and had to wipe away a wayward tear. They have grown up and it has taken me by surprise in some ways. I watched them and as they walked I saw the shadows of my little chicks follow beside them. They are ours for such a short time. At the moment I am reminded of little birds in a nest that I watched outside my window a couple of years ago. At first you got little glimpses of the tiny little chicks popping out from under their mother then they grew and grew and wriggled and squirmed in the nest jostling the poor mother from side to side as if she were riding a stormy sea. Finally they hopped onto the branch and before I knew it they were gone.
I am being jostled about in my nest at present and I know in the blink of an eye they will fly away!
Saturday, 11 April 2009
ooops! and a life lesson learnt.
Boy have I made a very bad error in judgement!
Chicky babe went out into freo to watch a movie with her friends from drama. This group has expanded to include some friends of one of the girls. Their ages range from 15 up the almost 18. Any way Chicky Babe took along another friend from school, a girl who is like a part of our "family". This girl's dad is a bit restrictive in my opinion, and Chicky Babe thinks (as all teens do,) that I am a bit restrictive.
They were at a movie and then rang to say that they would be going to go and have pizza. I said that that would be ok as long as it was fine with the other parent. Then as Bantam Boy was stuck in Gossnells -a good hour and a bit and two bus transfers by public transport away on good friday with limited buses running Tim took my car to go and pick him up. I had intended to pick the girls up when he got back. Then they rang to say that James could drive them home.
Do you trust him?
Has he been drinking?
And is it OK with the B's folks?
I'm not really happy about it but I suppose it would be Ok and quite convenient as Tim has my car in Gosnells.... ( I have been listening too much to her tell me how evil I am for not letting her do stuff and being too careful and fussy- having grown up being fussed over and overly protected I have been determined not to over parent and allow them both a certain amount of freedom.)
All the while I forgot to listen to how CB was saying over and over "You can say NO but....."
Well apparently B's parents didn't know and the boy dropped them off with a screech and a whole lot of yelling and noise leaving great skid marks down the street.
B has been grounded for the rest of the year, Her father rang me up and proceeded to tell me what he would like to see happen with CB in a most condescending and bullying manner.
I have dealt with the situation here on my end and I will not be grounding CB for a year I replied- (I think that is a ridiculous amount of time and being SO authoritarian and extreme only sets up for more lies and deception ,that or running away from home!) I didn't say the part in brackets to him but I did say when he said that I needed to do something - I said again that I have dealt with the matter at my end and I actually thing that the rest of the year is an unreasonable amount of time. - Then he proceeds to tell me that I obviously don't care if my daughter ends up dead! -What a WALLY!!!!! I was so angry about that how dare he speak to me like that. It was B who was pressuring CB to ask me in the first place and it was she who did not ask her parents. I on the other hand was fairly informed (albeit not fully as I was under the impression that B's parents also agreed.)
Then his partner rang to talk to me about it, she did agree that he has a tendency to over react - and that he didn't feel I did a good job of parenting CB and was too lenient and this was a bad influence on B an that he was going tomorrow to the high school in Karratha where he works to enroll her there to get her away from CB's bad influence!- Then I did a bad thing and let her know what I thought of his authoritarian style and how I thought the outcome of that would go. And how outraged I was that he would say that I wanted my daughter dead! I personally don't care If I never have to talk to them ever again! But poor CB has had the punishment - well natural consequence of her actions in that B has been banned from having anything to do with her again until B moves out of home. She has lost their trust and suffers their bad opinion of her. I see no need to "punish" her further.
Oh and by the way she won't be getting lifts with this young man any time soon!!! And I feel so bad that I didn't listen to my gut and go and pick them up myself, thus saving them the pain of this commotion but then it wouldn't have been a life lesson....She is attempting to write to them to try to make amends..
It's hard to watch your kids go through these things... especially when you feel a little responsible, I should have known that there would be no way in a pink fit that B's parents would have agreed to it!
Chicky babe went out into freo to watch a movie with her friends from drama. This group has expanded to include some friends of one of the girls. Their ages range from 15 up the almost 18. Any way Chicky Babe took along another friend from school, a girl who is like a part of our "family". This girl's dad is a bit restrictive in my opinion, and Chicky Babe thinks (as all teens do,) that I am a bit restrictive.
They were at a movie and then rang to say that they would be going to go and have pizza. I said that that would be ok as long as it was fine with the other parent. Then as Bantam Boy was stuck in Gossnells -a good hour and a bit and two bus transfers by public transport away on good friday with limited buses running Tim took my car to go and pick him up. I had intended to pick the girls up when he got back. Then they rang to say that James could drive them home.
Do you trust him?
Has he been drinking?
And is it OK with the B's folks?
I'm not really happy about it but I suppose it would be Ok and quite convenient as Tim has my car in Gosnells.... ( I have been listening too much to her tell me how evil I am for not letting her do stuff and being too careful and fussy- having grown up being fussed over and overly protected I have been determined not to over parent and allow them both a certain amount of freedom.)
All the while I forgot to listen to how CB was saying over and over "You can say NO but....."
Well apparently B's parents didn't know and the boy dropped them off with a screech and a whole lot of yelling and noise leaving great skid marks down the street.
B has been grounded for the rest of the year, Her father rang me up and proceeded to tell me what he would like to see happen with CB in a most condescending and bullying manner.
I have dealt with the situation here on my end and I will not be grounding CB for a year I replied- (I think that is a ridiculous amount of time and being SO authoritarian and extreme only sets up for more lies and deception ,that or running away from home!) I didn't say the part in brackets to him but I did say when he said that I needed to do something - I said again that I have dealt with the matter at my end and I actually thing that the rest of the year is an unreasonable amount of time. - Then he proceeds to tell me that I obviously don't care if my daughter ends up dead! -What a WALLY!!!!! I was so angry about that how dare he speak to me like that. It was B who was pressuring CB to ask me in the first place and it was she who did not ask her parents. I on the other hand was fairly informed (albeit not fully as I was under the impression that B's parents also agreed.)
Then his partner rang to talk to me about it, she did agree that he has a tendency to over react - and that he didn't feel I did a good job of parenting CB and was too lenient and this was a bad influence on B an that he was going tomorrow to the high school in Karratha where he works to enroll her there to get her away from CB's bad influence!- Then I did a bad thing and let her know what I thought of his authoritarian style and how I thought the outcome of that would go. And how outraged I was that he would say that I wanted my daughter dead! I personally don't care If I never have to talk to them ever again! But poor CB has had the punishment - well natural consequence of her actions in that B has been banned from having anything to do with her again until B moves out of home. She has lost their trust and suffers their bad opinion of her. I see no need to "punish" her further.
Oh and by the way she won't be getting lifts with this young man any time soon!!! And I feel so bad that I didn't listen to my gut and go and pick them up myself, thus saving them the pain of this commotion but then it wouldn't have been a life lesson....She is attempting to write to them to try to make amends..
It's hard to watch your kids go through these things... especially when you feel a little responsible, I should have known that there would be no way in a pink fit that B's parents would have agreed to it!
Thursday, 8 January 2009
Taxi!
Well the kids are back. It started before they even got back into town. While having lunch with 'A' the message alert went on my phone. It was chicky babe
Message 1: "r u coming to get us or do we have to catch the train from perth the freo and then another bus home"
Reply 'No I'm coming to get you A lives nearby the bus station so that's why I'm here for lunch"
Message 2; 'I just thought we would have to catch the train"
Reply 'No of course I'll come and get you'
Message "can i meet m(the ex boyfriend) in town"
A flurry of messages ensued - Warranted queries on my part Where When Who How will you get home etc etc
And gruff vague replies on her part first on her phone until it ran out of battery then on Bantam Boy's.
I was not keen to allow her to travel on her own into perth so BB and I went to the Gallery and had a look around. And then we went into Freo to get BB some CD's because you can never have enough and after south bound he had to have some from the bands he saw. Then I rang to find out how far away she was thinking that as I was already in freo I would perhaps have a coffee and wait to pick her up. But she decided it was easier to go to Murdoch (another line entirely) and bus to M's where I could pick her up when she was ready!
Today I have been to M's again so they could go to the beach. She was alarmed to find I would pick he up at 3;30 or at 10. Why so late!!
Well strangely enough I have plans.(meeting a friend for drinks before she goes of to Albany)
Then I ended up taking both kids to the beach - we took the scenic route, I got lost and although M had been there several times, his mother reassuring me he knew the way he never paid attention. All the while the phones were beeping Where are you messages.
Apparently I am known as the crazy over protective mother who always gets lost! (I did ask them not to swim out too far. In my defence a man was eaten by a shark not far from the beach 10 days ago, and the news is full of shark stories at the moment. And I think I am doing well to let them go although it does my head in to deal with the conflict of wanting to keep them safe and give them the independence I know I must!
Anyway when I finally found my way home from the beach it was almost time to take BB to the pool to meet his friends. At least he was flexible enough to let me have time to have a coffee and some breakfast!
Soon I will have to pick him up again but Chicky will get a lift home later, so I can go out and have a bit of fun myself.
Message 1: "r u coming to get us or do we have to catch the train from perth the freo and then another bus home"
Reply 'No I'm coming to get you A lives nearby the bus station so that's why I'm here for lunch"
Message 2; 'I just thought we would have to catch the train"
Reply 'No of course I'll come and get you'
Message "can i meet m(the ex boyfriend) in town"
A flurry of messages ensued - Warranted queries on my part Where When Who How will you get home etc etc
And gruff vague replies on her part first on her phone until it ran out of battery then on Bantam Boy's.
I was not keen to allow her to travel on her own into perth so BB and I went to the Gallery and had a look around. And then we went into Freo to get BB some CD's because you can never have enough and after south bound he had to have some from the bands he saw. Then I rang to find out how far away she was thinking that as I was already in freo I would perhaps have a coffee and wait to pick her up. But she decided it was easier to go to Murdoch (another line entirely) and bus to M's where I could pick her up when she was ready!
Today I have been to M's again so they could go to the beach. She was alarmed to find I would pick he up at 3;30 or at 10. Why so late!!
Well strangely enough I have plans.(meeting a friend for drinks before she goes of to Albany)
Then I ended up taking both kids to the beach - we took the scenic route, I got lost and although M had been there several times, his mother reassuring me he knew the way he never paid attention. All the while the phones were beeping Where are you messages.
Apparently I am known as the crazy over protective mother who always gets lost! (I did ask them not to swim out too far. In my defence a man was eaten by a shark not far from the beach 10 days ago, and the news is full of shark stories at the moment. And I think I am doing well to let them go although it does my head in to deal with the conflict of wanting to keep them safe and give them the independence I know I must!
Anyway when I finally found my way home from the beach it was almost time to take BB to the pool to meet his friends. At least he was flexible enough to let me have time to have a coffee and some breakfast!
Soon I will have to pick him up again but Chicky will get a lift home later, so I can go out and have a bit of fun myself.
Sunday, 4 January 2009
Shhhhh......
Ahhhh! I'm all on my own. The kids have both gone off to visit their grandparents in Busselton. Bantam Boy went on Friday four South Bound- a big music festival and Chicky Babe went today. A friend of mine is the mother of one of BB's closest friends and she went down to pick up her son so she took CB down there at the same time. I love both my children dearly but I have to confess I'm looking forward to some time on my own where all I have to worry about is me! It has been a while since they have both gone off at the same time. Once upon a time they would go and stay at their fathers for weekends at first regularly, then just here and there. I know they are quickly approaching adult hood and before I know it being on my own will be a way of life and I don't wish that to happen too quickly. I really do love having them about but today I am taking pleasure from the fact that no-one needs me for anything and I don't have to think about the needs of others!
The doorbell has broken on my front door, the television is off and there is quiet in my house. I am going to sit and do a bit of blogging and a bit of crochet (see photo). On Friday evening I bought a fantastic little book about using ephemera in art.
I have loved the work of Geninne she uses postcards and paints little birdies or boats around them. They are lovely whimsical little pieces. Have a look. Anyway one day I am going to treat myself to a couple of these. But also her work is inspiring me I'm thinking of making some little pieces using the kids ephemera, things that were important to them when they were little and adding images / paintings of them. I'm not sure how just yet but the book was a very interesting read.I also have iconic art swirling around in my head it is a theme that has been there for years, not in terms of religion but in relationship to motherhood. While I was at art school when the kids were little I had to do a self portrait. I made this life size mixed media piece. In it I was wearing a dress and the dress was made of a montage of photos of the kids and myself. Motherhood at that point felt like a mantle that you wore, something that was put on to you something that was added to who you are. As time has passed I don't see it like that anymore. I think that in some ways at that time of my life, at the end of my marriage at any rate, I did wear the role of a wife and mother, I was acting I suppose, going through the motions. So the self portrait was an expression of that. Now I feel like motherhood -well my form of it has become a calling almost a religious vocation. I do not mean that to sound pompous or over the top. How I have become as a mother now is much more grounded and natural. And I think I really do have a balanced approach to it, I'm definitely not a professional mummy and although I do make concessions for my children's needs I make sure I meet at least some of my needs too. I learnt that lesson and it is not one I wish to repeat- the next lesson to learn is self acceptance! that particular portrait had a big green smudge dragged violently over the face. Anyway I am thinking of images of me and the kids portrayed in an iconic format. Golds and reds, yummy.
The new year has got me thinking of my travel plans for when the children are grown up. Not too far away in two years time Chicky will have completed year 12 and my long service leave will be due. Perfect timing! I have been putting money into a college fund for the kids since they were about 6 & 7. I have put aside about 10 000 per child so I have decided that they will get 6000 each and I will keep 8000. They will receive the interest from the investment. So there is my European adventure money. As I browse on the net I have come across interesting places to stay and things to do. I've saved them in a folder quietly making plans for my adventure. When CB had her hair cut the hair dresser said she had stayed in a convent in Rome. I quite like the sound of that. I have this image of simple rooms and quiet- do you see a theme here. I think I am craving quiet at the moment. Plus I think I'd feel safe there as a lone traveller. Although it could turn out to be a huge 40+ European party as I now have several friends who want to join me for part of the journey!
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