Sunday, 4 January 2009

Shhhhh......


Ahhhh! I'm all on my own. The kids have both gone off to visit their grandparents in Busselton. Bantam Boy went on Friday four South Bound- a big music festival and Chicky Babe went today. A friend of mine is the mother of one of BB's closest friends and she went down to pick up her son so she took CB down there at the same time. I love both my children dearly but I have to confess I'm looking forward to some time on my own where all I have to worry about is me! It has been a while since they have both gone off at the same time. Once upon a time they would go and stay at their fathers for weekends at first regularly, then just here and there. I know they are quickly approaching adult hood and before I know it being on my own will be a way of life and I don't wish that to happen too quickly. I really do love having them about but today I am taking pleasure from the fact that no-one needs me for anything and I don't have to think about the needs of others!
The doorbell has broken on my front door, the television is off and there is quiet in my house. I am going to sit and do a bit of blogging and a bit of crochet (see photo). On Friday evening I bought a fantastic little book about using ephemera in art.

I have loved the work of Geninne she uses postcards and paints little birdies or boats around them. They are lovely whimsical little pieces. Have a look. Anyway one day I am going to treat myself to a couple of these. But also her work is inspiring me I'm thinking of making some little pieces using the kids ephemera, things that were important to them when they were little and adding images / paintings of them. I'm not sure how just yet but the book was a very interesting read.
I also have iconic art swirling around in my head it is a theme that has been there for years, not in terms of religion but in relationship to motherhood. While I was at art school when the kids were little I had to do a self portrait. I made this life size mixed media piece. In it I was wearing a dress and the dress was made of a montage of photos of the kids and myself. Motherhood at that point felt like a mantle that you wore, something that was put on to you something that was added to who you are. As time has passed I don't see it like that anymore. I think that in some ways at that time of my life, at the end of my marriage at any rate, I did wear the role of a wife and mother, I was acting I suppose, going through the motions. So the self portrait was an expression of that. Now I feel like motherhood -well my form of it has become a calling almost a religious vocation. I do not mean that to sound pompous or over the top. How I have become as a mother now is much more grounded and natural. And I think I really do have a balanced approach to it, I'm definitely not a professional mummy and although I do make concessions for my children's needs I make sure I meet at least some of my needs too. I learnt that lesson and it is not one I wish to repeat- the next lesson to learn is self acceptance! that particular portrait had a big green smudge dragged violently over the face. Anyway I am thinking of images of me and the kids portrayed in an iconic format. Golds and reds, yummy.
The new year has got me thinking of my travel plans for when the children are grown up. Not too far away in two years time Chicky will have completed year 12 and my long service leave will be due. Perfect timing! I have been putting money into a college fund for the kids since they were about 6 & 7. I have put aside about 10 000 per child so I have decided that they will get 6000 each and I will keep 8000. They will receive the interest from the investment. So there is my European adventure money. As I browse on the net I have come across interesting places to stay and things to do. I've saved them in a folder quietly making plans for my adventure. When CB had her hair cut the hair dresser said she had stayed in a convent in Rome. I quite like the sound of that. I have this image of simple rooms and quiet- do you see a theme here. I think I am craving quiet at the moment. Plus I think I'd feel safe there as a lone traveller. Although it could turn out to be a huge 40+ European party as I now have several friends who want to join me for part of the journey!


5 comments:

fifi said...

I am hoping for some solitude this week too...fingers crossed.

i have stayed in a convent in Rome, and also one on the Guidecca in Venice. It's hilarious: the beds are terrible and the nuns shout in Italian at anyone Japanese. It seems to frighten the life out of them...

Enjoy your time :-)

Luhlahh said...

The convent sounds like a dream! (your idea of it - not the shouting convent that Fifi went to!)

I'm currently enjoying being in Auckland by myself, taking my time and pleasing myself - a way of life that diminishes once the school year starts - I don't know how you Mums (particuarly teacher Mums) do it!

inkberryblue said...

Hi! Thanks for dropping by inkberryblue. I've just been looking through your blog and your flikr account ~ you've made some gorgeous things! It's really interesting to read about your self portraits and the process you're using to create them too.
Happy New Year!

Sarah said...

I really like the sound of the self portraits. ( I also like Geninne's lovely collages).

The convent is a nice idea. I wonder what my mum's planning to do when I leave home...

ZenCrafter said...

I'm a big fan of Geninne's as well, and your motherhood piece sounds just amazing. Do you still have it? I recently read another blogger's perspective on motherhood, and it seems to be consistent with what you're saying--that how we see ourselves as mothers changes over time. Thank goodness that the intensity of those first few years doesn't last--I don't think I could have survived to have more than one child!

Thanks for the nice comment on my blog, and please come visit again!